Stress, perhaps???

I was a little bit down for these past few days...had my normal migraine attack, and not feeling well...I went to a doctor to get my medicine and found out that my BP was on the high side, 140/90...something that never happen before.

I was very shocked to learn that my BP was high. The doctor gave me 3 different pills, and ask me to come again on Friday to have my BP check.

For me, I blame it on the stress. Its not that I don't love my job. Frankly, I really love my job. With the new admin job, plus with my normal responsibilities of being an academician, I really do think that I can manage it.

Maybe I expect a little bit more from myself. I'm a perfectionist, by the way.

I analyse everything to the little bit. I tend to over analyse everything. Maybe I have to take a few steps back, relax a little bit and enjoy life more.

However, I seriously hope that I won't have BP permanently. Maybe I should be more relax.

Am I doing the right thing??

Being an academician was something that I chose because of my love to hubby and now for Eya. The first few years was a total blur to me as I still didn't get the hang of it or what to do. Back then, I didn't even know how to write a paper. Now, at least I have improved but still it was just an average quality of paper.

Being a academician means you have to keep improving yourself in terms of paper qualification. When I decided to do my Master back in 2004, my main objective was just to go to UK, and it didn't worked well for me. Although, I managed to get my Master and got a conversion from MARA.

A few years have passed, and most of my colleagues had went to get their PhD, locally or internationally. I was among the few who are so reluctant to continue my study along with 2 of my close friends. Last year, suddenly 1 of them decided to do her PhD locally and that left only the 2 of us.

I don't feel really the urgency in doing it as I really want to have the passion and be prepared for it. Many people said  doing a PhD is like another journey of your life. It can be smooth sailing for someone or maybe a journey someone wish that he/she would never take in the first place.

I got my calling from one of my ex-student who was going to further her studies. She kept persuading me to continue my studies just like her. I didn't think anything of it until one day, I googled for oversea scholarship.I did this for almost 2 weeks when suddenly I saw an ad in Berita Harian.

The next day at work, I went to the website and registered for it. Then, the journey of finding a university began. Looking for a university was easy, the hard part was looking for a supervisor who want to supervise you. I had made 3 applications and hopefully 1 of it will go through.

Even making a research proposal was tough. I had to discuss with my boss about this and luckily she gave me 2 topics feasible for PhD. I chose the one which had a clear outcome, although the area was not my cup of tea.

I don't put my hopes up, but if I get it, it will be my motivation in getting my PhD. If not, maybe its not my time yet. So, whatever the result is, it will be a sign for me.

Our hardwork had paid off...

These last few weeks I was very busy finishing up tasks for my research project. Luckily, my team is made up of great people.

Although initially, the task was quite simple, once we reached it final stage, it was quite tough. Me and two of my team mates, had to test our finished articles using the program developed by other team members. The testing was quite tough and I was left feeling stressed for almost 2 weeks. At the end, only one of my 2 'job' was functioning correctly.

Due to the stress I had, I didn't cook for the whole time I'm involved with the project. After work, taking baths and had dinner, I would straight did my task.

It didn't help as I had quite other few tasks that need to be settled as well. Luckily, my moderator was quite understanding and let me finished my other job first.

The highlight of the project was competing in an exhibition. We were among the group that represented our department. All of us did not expect to win as we knew other projects were so much better than ours. We just enter the competition just for the exposure and experience we could obtained.

However, during the dinner night, our leader sms'ed us and told us we had win the 2nd place. It was such a shock and we were really grateful for it.

To my team members, congrats and to all of us, keep up the good work.....