Traumatic event for me...

Almost a week after my D&C procedure, the most traumatic event happened to me and hubby. On 24/7, I woke up around 9 am. I went out to see hubby off to work while I felt like tummy-ache. I went to the bathroom and tried to do my business, but it was so painful.

After a few tries, I stopped trying and surrendered to my room. I called hubby who was in front to check on my condition. My tummy was really painful at that time, and I was kind of struggling with the pain. Mom came in and told me maybe it was due to gas. She put a lot 'minyak urut' on my tummy and hoped the gas will subside.

I tried to sleep it off but it was so painful. Around 10++, I decided to get out of the room to go the toilet. At that time, the pain was no that intense but my vision was blurred. I tried standing up and walking out of my bedroom, and collapsed in front of it. Luckily, Abo's friend was around and helped me to get to the bathroom. At this time, my mom told me my body was icy cold. I collapsed 3 times before I reached the bathroom. I managed to do my business helped by mom.

Abo prepared me a glass of Milo, and I told him to take me to hospital. Betis, Shamsir and Abo helped me to get to the car and drove me to Assunta. My vision was white and blurry up until the time I reached Assunta's ER. Husband arrived from work a shortwhile after. I remembered seeing him crying seeing me in that condition.

In the ER, the nurses examined me, and the MO suspected that I had ectopic pregnancy. Mom was shocked since I just had D&C a week before. I was in so much pain and could not move, and MO decided to call my obgyn,who was in a lecture. At this time, my BP was 77/41. The MO also told me I may have internal bleeding due to my ruptured tube, and probably my tube or ovary has to be removed.

Inside I was crying, not because of the pain, but knowing that I could not conceive anymore. It took us 4 years to get Aleya, and after deciding that this year we want to have another one, this happened. I began my treatment earlier this year, and did my IUI around April. I was so sad that my tube had to be cut, and my chances of conceiving will be almost none. However, knowing that my right tube is cut, I was kind of relieved since the right tube was not responding during my treatment. Hopefully, If I am able to conceive, my left tube is still ok.

I think my condition was bad that my obgyn rushed down from his lecture. He examined my tummy, and I screamed in pain. Hubby said the whole ER could hear my screaming. He said that I need to be operated asap. I was prepped and pushed to the OT.

At this time, I could not move at all, and the nurses had to use slide to move me from my bed to the OT bed. I was really thankful to the OT nurse who was so kind to treat me gently. About 6-8 nurses have to move me since I was in so much pain.

Even when the anaesthetist asked me to inhale, I screamed since it bring a lot of pressure to my chest. I was kind of lifeless, and suddenly I remembered that I didn't have the chance to ask for forgiveness from my hubby and mom. I thought of all the worst things could happen to me, including dying on the OT bed. I hoped that the brought me to the ER asap since I wanted to be put down under. I could not stand the pain at all. It was the most painful moment for me.

I was in surgery for almost 2 hours, and was wheeled out around 4.30 pm. Dr Menon told hubby that I had internal bleeding, and had to cut off my right tube. I could not have anything after the surgery. I also could not get out of bed for 3 days, and had a catheter to drain my urine.

At this time, the pain from the incision was not felt due to the anaesthetic that I got. The next day, the incision was kind of painful and it is hard for me to move or sneeze. Luckily, I did not have a cough, else It will be totally painful for me.

I had to stay in hospital for 6 days, and on the last day,  my stitches were removed. It was painful but not as painful in moving around. All because of the incision. BTW, I had a major surgery or abdominal laparotomy. I had a bikini line incision, around 4-5 inches.

Until today, I have not decided what to do. It is scary to know that I might have died, if I did not insist to go to the bathrrom. It was also sad that it is so hard for us to conceive. However, in my heart, I am truly grateful to be blessed with Aleya, the only child that I have. I would not risk Eya not have a mother, hubby does not have a wife just by tempting treatment again. I will just leave everything to Allah's hand. If it is written in my destiny, to have another one, I am so grateful. If not, I will have Aleya as my only child.

Its our fate...miscarriage...

After few months of trying,finally we got the extra pink line. It was not on the spot happiness as the line was kind of faint. Our doctor at Lppkn ruled out that I was not pregnant since the second upt test was negative. It was done after 3 times peeing,which explained why the result turned negative.

The days passed by, and I was really careful taking care of the pregnancy. No heavy works, and even
hubby continued to drive me to work. Suddenly, after adik's engagement, around 7 weeks, I had a slight bleeding. Luckily, I had my appointment with Dr Ghafar at Lppkn on Monday. He ruled out that I was not pregnant, and informed us that I just had a case of delayed menses. Told me just to wait for my period to come.
Hubby was not happy with the result,so I did a blood test. We went to a clinic near my office and had to wait for the next day for the result. Turned out my Hcg level was 108, so I am pregnant. Decided to see my Ob-gyn at Assunta.

I set an appointment with my doctor and showed him the blood test slip. He confirmed that I was pregnant, and also did an ultrasound. He calculated my edd, and told us that based on what he seen on the ultrasound, I was 4 weeks pregnant. We were both esctatic, and decided to only told my mom.

I had slight bleeding since that day, and it happened for 2 weeks. On the 1st week Friday, I decided to meet a nearby doctor and told him about my bleeding problem. Being just a GP, he suggested me to see my obgyn. So, I waited, hoping the bleeding will stop.

On Sunday, I had a bad cramp, and around 8 pm, I passed a blood clot. I assumed that I had a miscarriage. I took an MC on Monday because of that incident.

On Wednesday,18/7, I went to see my obgyn at Assunta using referral from my GP. I told him what happened on Sunday, and did an internal exam and scanned my uterus. He told me I did have a miscarriage, but had to do a D&C since there was some uterus lining still left. He scheduled me for the procedure the next day, 19/7.

The procedure went smoothly, and was given 1 week MC. I decided to do my confinement at my mom's home until something traumatic happened to me.

No Luck....

Just a simple notes to said that we have no luck this time.

Will try again next time.

Eya and her Iqra' class

Eya is 6 years old this year, so we decided to send her for Iqra' class. We have been searching for the class since last year but most of the class offered is for adult.

Then, hubby learned that one of our neighbor is doing Iqra' class. Her house is located on the first block of houses in our row.

There are only 3 boys in her class so hubby asked if we can send Eya there. She said she can accept one more student. The class is 3 times a week, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, from 8-9 p.m.

So, I took Eya for tudung shopping. Luckily, Shazzmin was on sale and I bought her a pink dual-tone tudung. As I never wear those kind of tudung, it was kind of pricey but luckily, due to the sale, I only paid RM 30 for Eya's tudung. Then, I have to look for her baju kurung. I only made 1 baju kurung for her each year, and she outgrown most of them. So, we managed to find only 2 baju kurungs.

I did ask her to wear her night kaftan but she refused, so 1 baju kurung for each week.

She managed to finish Iqra 1 in 3 days time. Currently, she is reading Iqra 2. She is quite fast as she also learn Iqra in her school.

Stress, perhaps???

I was a little bit down for these past few days...had my normal migraine attack, and not feeling well...I went to a doctor to get my medicine and found out that my BP was on the high side, 140/90...something that never happen before.

I was very shocked to learn that my BP was high. The doctor gave me 3 different pills, and ask me to come again on Friday to have my BP check.

For me, I blame it on the stress. Its not that I don't love my job. Frankly, I really love my job. With the new admin job, plus with my normal responsibilities of being an academician, I really do think that I can manage it.

Maybe I expect a little bit more from myself. I'm a perfectionist, by the way.

I analyse everything to the little bit. I tend to over analyse everything. Maybe I have to take a few steps back, relax a little bit and enjoy life more.

However, I seriously hope that I won't have BP permanently. Maybe I should be more relax.

Eya's Fifth Birthday...

Eya's birthday, as usual will fall on either Syawal or Ramadan, being a girl that was born exactly at 1st of Ramadan 5 years ago. This year, initially I was planning to celebrate it at Kepong.

As we still in Syawal, cu planned to gather all of us during his open house. He will do the cooking and later, all of the LL clan will have a sleepover at his home. So, I agreed and thought that Eya birthday should be celebrated there.

Eya, being 5 years old, know what she want for her birthday this year. Me, hubby and her opah will buy different things for her. She is not into expensive toys now, and her choices are much simpler.

She asked:

• Me: Dora stuff, so I bought her a set of Dora plate, mug and tumbler
• Hubby: Cars coloring stuff, so he bought her Crayola Cars and Princess coloring set
• Opah: She asked for masak-masak stuffs, all kind of plastic foods

Her acu bought her bedsheet + Mickey pillowcases, Uncle Shamsir bought her a set of dolls + clothes and Cik Yong bought her smurfette. 

As for the cake, I ordered a small cake with Powerpuff Girls - Blossom on it. The cake was gorgeous, and it cost RM75. I ordered from an online store that is based in Bangi, www.babycakes2u.com. Even the owner is a nice lady. Really loves the cake.

We also bought her a set of tiara and wand, as she told us that she wanted to be a princess this year. Even that two things is costly. Luckily, my friend lent her daughter's fairy wing to Eya. Another RM40 was saved.

Overall, her birthday was a nice one this year. A funny scene was when Zidane blew her candles everytime hubby light it up. She cried her heart out. We have to console her, and later she told us she cried because she didn't know how to blow the candles out. 

Eya, a princess for her 5th birthday....

Lil Update: Puasa, Raya, GH, etc..

Its been almost 2 3 months I wrote to this blog. The main reason is I am so busy. Not that I'm complaining, just that I don't have any spare time to write.

Nothing much has happened in this past few months.

The major one will be Syawal just ended. As for this year Ramadan, we didn't go for any Buka Puasa buffet and we only been to Param for a few times only. Reason for not going to param was all of the params in Bangi are boring. Too many lauk and a few kuihs. Our favourite stall will be the one in front of our housing area. We will get our daily dose of karipap from the kakak.

As for Raya, as usual, we will celebrate it at Kepong and Taiping. Few days before Raya were spent in my mom's house. The normal raya dishes will be rendang ayam, daging+limpa+paru and of course sambal goreng for my siblings. My favourite dish of all time will be rendang limpa. Not many person can eat limpa but this is totally my favourite.

Me and sis baked a few raya cookies and our chocolate chip is a must. I baked sandwich cake and kek masam manis, and this year everything were perfect. Really love the Kenwood mixer.

No special things happened during Raya. Hubby's sibling were all at Taiping except for Abang Duan and Kak Jah. And, as usual, we will travel back to Tanjung Tualang to visit tok chik, and the new LL clan tradition is going to Penang to have our dose of nasi kandar line clear. I didn't spent the night with my family but headed back to Taiping.

As for our GH, we have more neighbors now. Left and right are occupied by female students from MFI, and none of them are friendly. We also managed to attend a few open houses organized by our neighbors.